“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”
Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.
As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me.
One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.
Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.
Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.
Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.
Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children.
This is so goddamn important.
I verbally express affection. A LOT.
My husband… doesn’t. I don’t know why. For the longest time part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.
At some point I told him about a thing I had done as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means ‘I Love You’.
Suddenly he’s telling me I Love You all the time.
Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.
taptaptap
on my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me
All the time.
More often than I ever verbally said it.
It’s an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.
STOP HAVING WHITE VOICE ACTORS PLAYING NON-WHITE ROLES
stop depriving non-white actors opportunities to act and get recognized!
Voice actors often don’t know who they’re reading for or what franchise they’re in (that’s what the strike was recently about, so they’d know whether they were in a small first time game or the 4th installment of a major franchise, if they were replacing a beloved voice actor, etc.) so please don’t harass the actors, until recently they legally didn’t have the right to know who they were reading for and were usually not told until months or even years later.
Definitely go after casting, directors, and studios executives. Those are the people making the decisions.
They still don’t have the right to know. They got fucking nothing out of that strike. They can know the code name (which might be a serial number or whatever) and if it’s a sequel. That’s it. That’s the extent of the “transparency” they won from the strike.
As a perfect example of this controversy, if you haven’t looked up interviews surrounding Laura Bailey as Nadine Ross, it’s worth it.
Laura Bailey herself explained that when she auditioned for the role, she was given no information about what the character looked like. It was only after she was hired and arrived for recording that she was shown concept art and discovered the character was a WOC. She was uncomfortable about the situation.
Meanwhile, Neil Druckmann revealedthat they were already working on concept art of the character when they hired Laura Bailey. They finalized the character’s design as a WOC after they’d hired a white voice actress, so that was a conscious decision. He was also very flippant about the situation as a whole.
Like people above have said: Yes, whitewashed casting is a legitimate and real issue. But unlike actors in film and stage, voice actors are often totally blind to what they’re auditioning for. They get fucked by NDAs and legal red tape bullshit. Go after the casting directors and execs and high-position game devs that knowingly make these decisions.
Reblogging for that info
Call out the studios making these decisions, but leave the actors alone. There’s nothing they can do about it short of breaching the contract and paying thousands in fines to the company that put them in that shitty position in the first place. Game companies are horrendously exploitative of performers and artists and need to be called out.
